I Resolve to...

I enjoy writing…I really do.  My hang-up is putting it out there for people to read.  I worry about what people might think, or if I might offend someone with my words.  But, I am forgetting the most important part of that statement…they are MY words, MY ideas. 

So, this year, I am attempting something new.  I am going to try to write unfiltered.  I just want to take what I’m feeling inside and get it down on paper (or the screen…whatever).  I’m not trying to win a Pulitzer Prize.  It doesn't have to be perfect.  It doesn't have to be profound.  It just has to be my words, my thoughts, my emotions.  I will recite this to myself every time I sit down to write…at least once a week.

This is one of my resolutions for 2013.  I've never really been a resolution person, which is kind of out of character for me.  I am a very goal oriented person so it would only be natural to write and follow resolutions.  However, I also tend to be a perfectionist.  These two traits are very hard to jive and often leave me feeling exhausted and defeated.  I want to finish that project, check off that list, but it has to be done perfectly.  Seriously, when I set out to clean the house, I usually end up getting stuck at the front closet.  I feel like everything has to be done in a specific order and done just right.  So, I spend 3 hours organizing that front closet and never make it to scrubbing my toilets. 

This leads me into my second resolution…organization and time management.  I have already created bi-weekly and monthly cleaning checklists for my home.  I think this will help to keep me on track and always have a clean house.  I will try to worry less about doing it perfectly and attempt to just do it well.  I know I’m only one week into the New Year, but so far I have 80% of the stuff checked off of my list!  Too bad it starts over in 5 days…

My final resolution is to be a more generous person.  I want this to be far-reaching and all encompassing.  This doesn't necessarily mean material gifts (unless I unexpectedly win the lottery).   I simply desire to have more generous spirit.  I will be more compassionate, giving of my time and patience.  I love reading other peoples stories about random acts of kindness, but it’s time to stop reading and start acting.  I realize this isn't a change I can make over night, but I will make it happen.  Baby steps…  In the name of full disclosure I should state that I am not only doing this for the sake of others.  I am doing this for me too.  I feel like, maybe I’m not quite living up to my full potential.  I think I used to be better at this…before I got busy with life.  I will do better, I will be better, and in doing so I hope to find more fulfillment and peace.  I realized I can’t look at others to provide this for me, I alone am responsible.